The Love of God With a Wounded Heart

It has been four years. I am so glad that it is finally over. High School contains so many of my favorite memories, but it also contains restless nights of studying. I literally was like a robot. I remember coming home completing  my homework, doing research, helping a friend with their school work or staying after school for 3 hours. Senior year had ended, and when graduation was the last of my worries, I had decided, still feeling exhausted, to get a summer job. I did, and I felt thrilled. After a week at work, my body felt so drained. My head felt as if it was about to explode. I couldn't take it anymore! It has been four years where I have been accustomed to work, work, work, I forgot to spend time with myself. I devoted so much of my life to provide services to others that I forget about me. I worked so much, I didn't know how to enjoy myself. And even when I found an opportunity to have some fun, in the back of my mind I felt obligated to work.  Man was that a problem.

 I broke down, feeling burnt. I began to feel sad, lonely, almost depressed. I cried so much. For healing I called my close friend Melissa and Rachana. I spoke to Mom and my grandmother. Their words healed my heart. Many people in my family starting calling me, offering advice and counseling. My manager Gertrude and my friend Grace from work prayed for me and offered healing words also. I realized that in my time of loneliness, I am surrounded by so many wonderful people. People that care about my well being. I felt so happy inside and thanked GOD for using the people that I know as  healing instruments into my time of sorrow.  

My faith in God grew stronger in my time of sorrow. I kept praying and speaking to him about my feelings, confusions and the reasons why I had felt that I couldn't continue working anymore. I had made the decision to quit my job. I think that was the best decision I had ever made.  :) God communicated with me in a very special way expressing that in this troubling time, he is preparing me to be strong for what is prepared for me in the future. 

I know that GOD is crying when I am, and although I feel broken I know I am not. God didn't make me broken, he made me WHOLE. I have not realized that yet because I have become so distant from my own identity. 

Im starting to get better and I want to thank everyone who were there for me. :)

A thing called LOVE`

It was one morning where I woke up, headed downstairs to the living room and turned on the television. I was sitting down in my couch eating a bowl of honey nut cheerios, with my brother Baloy doing the same across from me. I saw an episode of Dawsons Creek. I think it was the episode where Dawson went to a fair with all his friends, and while Joey tried to get closer to Dawson, he kept avoiding her to get closer to the new girl in town named Jen. I was infatuated with that first episode, I felt motivated to wake up every morning at 7:30 to see more episodes. I was inspired by Pacey and Joey's love. Pacey, the black sheep of every ocassion falling in loving with Joey, the girl that every guy would feel fortuitous to be with. In the end, Dawson loses the girl.

Pacey and Joey--My favorite T.V. Couple.

Pacey: (placing his hand to her ear) Where did you get those? They're not you.

Joey: Why? Because I'm just a poor tom-boy, or because Dawson gave them to me?

Pacey: Neither. (taking her wrist which has a bracelet on it) You see this? This is you. It's not showy, or gaudy... it's simple. Elegant. Beautiful.

Joey: It's my mom's bracelet.

Pacey: I know.

Joey: (surprised) How do you know?

Pacey: Well, because you told me. Six months ago. You were wearing that, uh, blue sweater, with the snowflakes that you have. You were walking down the hallways at school, I was annoying you as per usual. You said, "Look, Pacey, I just found my mother's bracelet this morning, so why don't you cut me some slack?"

Joey: You remember that?

Pacey: I remember everything

PROM 09`

Prom NIGHT was amazing!--HHS Class of 09`

Although the weather was dismal, prom wasn't. Kelvin stopped by my house, we took pictures, and we were leaving to the party of the night. Prom has always been known to be crazy, fun and spontaneous. My prom was awesome I must say. Everyone looked so sophisticated. The people that I had least expected to look nice did. I wore a long red dress. I believe it was the longest. There were so many people wearing red it was almost insane. John Collins, who was supposed to be my official prom date, won Prom King. (I won nothing, not that I care much).

Like my friend Rachana says, " I could replay that night over and over again." I couldn't agree more. When my friends went for I-hop, and crazy after parties, I went home, took a shower, watched a movie and fell asleep. I never felt so lazy in my entire life.